{"id":123,"date":"2004-12-06T13:03:31","date_gmt":"2004-12-06T20:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/blog\/?p=121"},"modified":"2004-12-06T13:03:31","modified_gmt":"2004-12-06T20:03:31","slug":"we-will-become-silhouettes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/2004\/12\/06\/we-will-become-silhouettes\/","title":{"rendered":"We will become silhouettes"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"storycontent\">\n<p>On the big speakers:  <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mtv.com\/bands\/az\/postal_service\/artist.jhtml\">The Postal Service<\/a><br \/> My current obsession:  <a href=\"http:\/\/eq2players.station.sony.com\/en\/pplayer.vm?characterId=179889104\">Vaenu Pa&rsquo;riya<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Nearly a week since my last entry. Not because of EQ2, as one might guess, but because I&rsquo;ve needed the time to mull things over. I wanted to pay what happened with Alexis more than just passing lip service, but honestly I don&rsquo;t know what to say. I&rsquo;ve got very mixed feelings about what happened. She came over last night and we talked about things; mostly she tried to convince me that I was making a horrible mistake. I admitted that she could very well be right, but for now I still feel like it was the right decision, and I&rsquo;m not going to change my mind. Not that it wasn&rsquo;t hard. My god; my body was shaking, and she leaned against me and took my hand and stared into my eyes and even while melting I told her that I couldn&rsquo;t do what she wanted me to do. It remains the right decision, but not an easy one.<\/p>\n<p>As I dropped her off in the glen, she kissed me. Three times. I didn&rsquo;t stop her, but I didn&rsquo;t let it go any further. She told me I was stupid (for letting her go; a theme of the night) and then left. I drove away, confused and feeling pretty stupid. My brain still feels a bit addled, but I&rsquo;ll keep my resolve. If I don&rsquo;t, I suspect it will just lead to more people getting more hurt later on. In the Autumn I need to make a journey by myself; this supersedes all else.<\/p>\n<p>&ndash;<\/p>\n<p>To occupy my thoughts:<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>My father is probably moving to Reno.<\/li>\n<li>I may go to Florida for Christmas, but I&rsquo;m waiting to hear about the new job and see how my schedule might work out. Christmas is just around the corner, though.<\/li>\n<li>We&rsquo;ve got seven swing practices planned before we have to perform our routine. We perform on the 21st, and I&rsquo;m nervous about the aerials.<\/li>\n<li>My schedule is completely fucked since I can&rsquo;t work over the holidays and I have to make up the hours somehow.<\/li>\n<li>Everquest 2 is the best crack since Everquest, and better.  It makes me shiver.<\/li>\n<li>I desperately want a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newegg.com\/app\/viewProductDesc.asp?description=30-124-111&amp;depa=0\">digital camera<\/a>, and I desperately can&rsquo;t afford one.<\/li>\n<li>I may buy myself one anyway.<\/li>\n<li>I secretly yearn for snow.  I blame this on Ohio.<\/li>\n<li>I worry that the application process for grad school in a different country will be complicated and difficult, and that I won&rsquo;t be able to get the aid required to allow me to go.<\/li>\n<li>I still haven&rsquo;t heard about the second job, and I&rsquo;m getting nervous now.<\/li>\n<li>That&rsquo;s more than enough, I imagine.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I&rsquo;ll do my best to update more regularly.<br \/> I always feel better for doing so.<\/p>\n<p><em>I wanted to walk through the empty streets<br \/> And feel something constant under my feet,<br \/> But all the news reports recommended that<br \/> I stay indoors<br \/> Because the air outside will make our cells<br \/> Divide at an alarming rate until our shells<br \/> Simply cannot hold all our insides in,<br \/> And that&rsquo;s when we&rsquo;ll explode<br \/> (and it won&rsquo;t be a pretty sight)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><\/em><br \/> &#8211; The Postal Service, We Will Become Silhouettes<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On the big speakers: The Postal Service My current obsession: Vaenu Pa&rsquo;riya Nearly a week since my last entry. Not because of EQ2, as one might guess, but because I&rsquo;ve needed the time to mull things over. I wanted to pay what happened with Alexis more than just passing lip service, but honestly I don&rsquo;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,12,14,17],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ahniwa.com\/old\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}