Categories
personal

On the read window there is a sticker that reads “Foxy”.

Tuesday afternoon, May 2nd, I took my car to the Texaco QuickLube to get the oil changed.  Afterwards I drove across the street to the Chevron to fill the tank.  $21 later I got back into my car and noticed that the Gas Meter and Temperature guages on my dash panel were no longer working.  I shrugged, figured a fuse blew, and since the car was running fine, vowed to go get some fuses and fix the problem, later.

Wednesday evening I got home from work and ran inside to grab my mitt and change for softball practice.  When I ran back out, my car wouldn’t start.  Miffed though not panicked, I called friends and got a ride, still figuring that the problem was a minor electrical glitch.  Thursday morning Theo came over to give me a jump.  When he arrived I tried to start the car without assistance, and it started fine.  I drove it down to German Engine Service, explained the problem, left my key, and crossed my fingers.

Initially the mechanic told me that it was probably the alternator, which sounded like a simple fix if not an entirely inexpensive one.  Today I found out that it’s actually a circuit board that shorted out.  I was given a Wednesday estimate with a $270 price tag.  I can live with that.  Then he called back.  The part is obsolete (not for me!), so he’ll have to call the junk yards, which he won’t have time to do until Monday.  Who knows if anyone has the part.  My car is one of the more obscure cars you’ll ever see, whether or not you’d know it by looking at it.  It’s a 1993 VW Fox 2-Door Sedan 5-Speed Wolfsburg Edition, and a lovely dark blue color too.  I’ve been to hell (okay, so it was just Ohio) and back with that car, and I love it dearly, and I don’t want it to be dead.

That said, the idea of living without a car has always been vaguely appealing to me, and for at least the next week, I’ll be forced to give it a shot.  When my car died in Ohio, I bothered everyone more than I would have liked by borrowing their cars (at the time I neither had a bicycle nor worked very close to home).  This time, I have a bicycle that I like (I even have padded bike shorts), and I live a reasonable distance that it would be no great ordeal to bike in to work.  Tomorrow I’ll give it a shot.

For the long term, Montreal seems like an easy enough city to live in without driving, so regardless of whether or not I drive to get out there, I think I’ll do my best to drive very little once I arrive.  Perhaps my auto(mobile)-dependance is being forced out of me, but I’m determined to make the best of it.  All the same, please send happy thoughts to my poor Fox, who has only turned 13-years-old this year and who was planning on going another 80,000 miles (at least) before it goes to that big scrap pile in the sky.

My car is dead.  Long live my car!

Categories
cinema personal

Movie Meme: The Top 100

It was really tough to knock out nearly half of the movies on the previous list. The result, though, is a list of 100 films that I think people of our generation need to watch. Movies made the list for various reasons, and as I mentioned before, not just because they’re my favorites.

For instance, I don’t like “Clerks” at all, but Kevin Smith has had a big effect on our generation, and Clerks is his masthead, so to speak.

Scream is an odd entry, but it really created a new genre of teenage comedy horror and has led to multiple copycats and parodies.

Had I the time, I’d be happy to go through each and every movie and explain why I added it, and what I think it adds to movies in general and to our generation in particular. Maybe I will at some point. In the meantime, here’s the list, in handy meme form.

Take it, repost it, see how ya do. I think most people my age will have seen most of these, though certainly not all of them. But I’m curious to find out. 

——–

() 01 Alien (and Aliens)
() 02 Amelie
() 03 American Beauty
() 04 Austin Powers
() 05 Back to the Future
() 06 Batman
() 07 Blade Runner
() 08 Braveheart
() 09 Breakfast at Tiffany’s
() 10 Casablanca
() 11 Citizen Kane
() 12 Clerks
() 13 Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
() 14 Das Boot
() 15 Dead Poets Society
() 16 Die Hard
() 17 Dirty Dancing
() 18 Donnie Darko
() 19 Dr. No
() 20 Dr. Strangelove
() 21 E.T.
() 22 Evil Dead II (and Army of Darkness)
() 23 Fargo
() 24 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
() 25 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
() 26 Fight Club
() 27 Finding Nemo
() 28 Footloose
() 29 Forrest Gump
() 30 Ghost
() 31 Ghost Busters
() 32 Gladiator
() 33 Goldeneye
() 34 Good Will Hunting
() 35 Grease
() 36 Groundhog Day
() 37 Halloween
() 38 Heat
() 39 Independence Day
() 40 Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
() 41 It’s a Wonderful Life
() 42 Jaws
() 43 Jean de Florette
() 44 Jerry Maguire
() 45 Jurassic Park
() 46 Kill Bill v. 1-2
() 47 Labyrinth
() 48 Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson, all 3)
() 49 Mission Impossible
() 50 Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() 51 Office Space
() 52 Pretty Woman
() 53 Princess Mononoke
() 54 Psycho
() 55 Pulp Fiction
() 56 Rebel Without a Cause
() 57 Rocky
() 58 Romeo and Juliet (1996)
() 59 Run Lola Run
() 60 Rushmore
() 61 Saving Private Ryan
() 62 Say Anything
() 63 Scream
() 64 Shrek
() 65 Silence of the Lambs
() 66 Sin City
() 67 Singin’ in the Rain
() 68 Spiderman
() 69 Star Wars (ep. 4-6)
() 70 Superman
() 71 Taxi Driver
() 72 Terminator (and Terminator II)
() 73 The Big Lebowski
() 74 The Blues Brothers
() 75 The Breakfast Club
() 76 The Exorcist
() 77 The Fugitive
() 78 The Godfather (and The Godfather II)
() 79 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
() 80 The Goonies
() 81 The Last Temptation of Christ
() 82 The Lion King
() 83 The Matrix
() 84 The Muppet Movie
() 85 The Nightmare Before Christmas
() 86 The Passion of the Christ
() 87 The Pink Panther (1963)
() 88 The Princess Bride
() 89 The Professional
() 90 The Ring
() 91 The Shining
() 92 The Sixth Sense
() 93 The Truman Show
() 94 The Usual Suspects
() 95 Thelma and Louise
() 96 Titanic
() 97 Top Gun
() 98 Toy Story
() 99 Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
() 100 Willow

Categories
cinema personal

Movie List #1: Complete

Here’s the complete list of 193 movies that I think are essential viewing. Note that not all of my favorite movies are included, nor are all the movies included my favorites. I’m going to whittle this down to an even 100 for a final list of MUST-SEE MOVIES. It’s in caps because I really consider them must sees. In the meantime, just consider this list “Recommended Viewing”. 

12 Angry Men
2001: A Space Odyssey
28 Days Later
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Akira
Aladdin (Disney)
Alien
Aliens
Almost Famous
Amadeus
Amelie
American Beauty
American Graffiti
Any Given Sunday
Army of Darkness
Austin Powers
Back to the Future
Bambi
Basic Instinct
Batman
Before Sunrise
Being John Malkovitch
Blade Runner
Braveheart
Brazil
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Cape Fear (1991)
Casablanca
Charade
Citizen kane
Clerks
Coffee and Cigarettes
Coming to America
Crash
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Dances with Wolves
Das Boot
Dead Man
Dead Poets Society
Die Hard
Diner
Dirty Dancing
Donnie Darko
Dr. No
Dr. Strangelove
Dracula (1992)
E.T.
East of Eden
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Evil Dead II
Fargo
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Ferris Beuler’s Day Off
Fiddler on the Roof
Fight Club
Finding Nemo
Flatliners
Footloose
Forrest Gump
Friday the 13th
Gandhi
Garden State
Ghost
Ghost Busters
Ghost Dog
Gladiator
Goldeneye
Goldfinger
Gone with the Wind
Good Will Hunting
Grease
Groundhog Day
Halloween
Heat
Heathers
High Fidelity
I (Heart) Huckabees
Independence Day
Indiana Jones
It’s a Wonderful Life
Jaws
Jean de Florette
Jerry McGuire
Jurassic Park
Kill Bill v. 1-2
King Kong
La Femme Nikita
La Haine
Labyrinth
Legend
Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson, all 3)
Mad Max
Magnolia
Mary Poppins
Men in Black
Minority Report
Mission Impossible
Monsters, Inc.
Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail
Moulin Rouge (2001)
Mulholland Drive
My Fair Lady
Natural Born Killers
Night of the Living Dead
Ocean’s 11
Office Space
Pretty Woman
Princess Mononoke
Psycho
Pulp Fiction
Rambo
Rebel Without a Cause
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
RoboCop
Rocky
Romeo and Juliet (1996)
Ronin
Run Lola Run
Rushmore
Saving Private Ryan
Say Anything
Scarface
Shakespeare in Love
Shine
Shrek
Silence of the Lambs
Sin City
Singin’ in the Rain
Sleepless in Seattle
Snatch
Spiderman
Spirited Away
Star Wars (ep. 4-6)
Superman
Taxi Driver
Taxi Driver
Terminator II: Judgement Day
The Big Lebowski
The Big Sleep
The Blues Brothers
The Breakfast Club
The Crying Game
The Dark Crystal
The English Patient
The Exorcist
The Fifth Element
The Fugitive
The Godfather
The Godfather II
The Golden Child
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
The Goonies
The Graduate
The Hunt for Red October
The Iron Giant
The Last Temptation of Christ
The Lion King
The Matrix
The Muppet Movie
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Passion of the Christ
The Pianist
The Pink Panther (1963)
The Princess Bride
The Professional
The Ring
The Shining
The Sixth Sense
The Sound of Music
The Stepford Wives
The Sting
The Terminator
The Triplets of Belleville
The Truman Show
The Usual Suspects
The Wizard of Oz
Thelma and Louise
Titanic
Tombstone
Top Gun
Total Recall
Toy Story
Traffic
Trainspotting
Tron
Unforgiven
Wayne’s World
West Side Story
Whale Rider
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Willow
Zoolander
Categories
personal

Just plain “whelmed”.

Do you ever have periods in your life where no matter how busy or idle you are, you feel overwhelmed?

Yeah …

I hate that.

Categories
love personal

re: The Way I See It #76

Concerning the quote two posts ago.

I think part of the reason I like that quote is because I once tried to explain the exact same thing in a completely different way when I was with Emily, and I don’t know if I ever got it to make sense. In visual terms, my explanation was something like this.

Alone, | is a solid, balanced existence. If you’re alone and you’re / or , you’re bound to fall or tip over at any moment. You can’t support yourself. I think it’s important to be able to be | when by yourself (i.e. relationship independant).

/ and people tend to thrive in relationships because they can lean on each other. The problem is that they require that support. Rather than it being a bonus it’s a neccesity. | people have a very difficult time leaning, but I think it’s important that they learn to depend on someone outside themselves in some respects.

Having a relationship that is || is all well and good, but even || does not create as strong a base as /. The / foundation is stronger, both people are showing that they are committed to making it work.

Even here I muddle this explanation, which is exactly why I liked that quote so much. It says very simply what I just botched in a very complicated fashion. People should learn to stand up on their own, but just as important is that they learn to commit.

Categories
cinema personal

Another Movie Meme

Another meme stolen from kottke.org based off this list by Jim Emerson of the 102 movies you should see before you consider yourself “movie literate”. I have a feeling I’m not quite as movie-literate as I’d like to think…

(1) 2001: A Space Odyssey
(2) The 400 Blows
()8 1/2
()Aguirre, the Wrath of God
(3) Alien
()All About Eve
Annie Hall
(4) Apocalypse Now
(5) Bambi
()The Battleship Potemkin
()The Best Years of Our Lives
()The Big Red One
()The Bicycle Thief
(6)The Big Sleep
(7) Blade Runner
()Blowup
() Blue Velvet
()Bonnie and Clyde
(8)Breathless
()Bringing Up Baby
()Carrie
(9) Casablanca
()Un Chien Andalou
()Children of Paradise / Les Enfants du Paradis
(10) Chinatown
(11) Citizen Kane
(12) A Clockwork Orange
(13) The Crying Game
()The Day the Earth Stood Still
()Days of Heaven
(14) Dirty Harry
()The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
() Do the Right Thing
()La Dolce Vita
()Double Indemnity
(15) Dr. Strangelove
()Duck Soup
(16) E.T. — The Extra-Terrestrial
(17)Easy Rider
(18) The Empire Strikes Back
(19)The Exorcist
(20) Fargo
(21) Fight Club
(22)Frankenstein
()The General
(23) The Godfather, The Godfather, Part II
() Gone With the Wind
() GoodFellas
() The Graduate
(24)Halloween
() A Hard Day’s Night
()Intolerance
()It’s a Gift
(25) It’s a Wonderful Life
(26)Jaws
()The Lady Eve
(27)Lawrence of Arabia
()M
(28)Mad Max 2 / The Road Warrior
(29)The Maltese Falcon
(30) The Manchurian Candidate
(31)Metropolis
()Modern Times
(32) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
()Nashville
()The Night of the Hunter
(33)Night of the Living Dead
() North by Northwest
() Nosferatu
() On the Waterfront
()Once Upon a Time in the West
()Out of the Past
()Persona
()Pink Flamingos
(34)Psycho
(35) Pulp Fiction
()Rashomon
(36) Rear Window
(37)Rebel Without a Cause
()Red River
()Repulsion
(38)The Rules of the Game
(39) Scarface
()The Scarlet Empress
(40) Schindler’s List
()The Searchers
(41) The Seven Samurai
(42)Singin’ in the Rain
(43)Some Like It Hot
()A Star Is Born
()A Streetcar Named Desire
()Sunset Boulevard
(44) Taxi Driver
(45)The Third Man
()Tokyo Story
(46) Touch of Evil
()The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
()Trouble in Paradise
(47)Vertigo
(48) West Side Story
()The Wild Bunch
(49) The Wizard of Oz

I did okay on Hitchcock (3 out of 4) and Welles (2 out of 2) films, not so great on other “classics”.  I’m tempted to make a more modern list of movies that everyone in my generation should see.  Hmmmm.  In the meantime, I need to watch at least one more of these movies so I can claim 50, or two more so I can say I’ve seen half of them.

Categories
personal work

Feels like Monday …

Tuesdays are my Mondays, so perhaps that makes sense. Still.

Both my go-to techie guys are gone today, which makes ME the go-to techie guy, which doesn’t help me at all get other things done. On top of that, I tried to walk through a closed door earlier and jammed up my hand, I’ve decided to take a break from dancing for awhile, and I just want to play outside in the sun.

/le sigh

Alright, I’m done now. Time to go stew on pirate fiction, and a comic for tomorrow. Or …

go lay in the sun. But first I have a swing class to teach.

Categories
book cinema personal

Book–>Movie Meme

Saw this at kottke.org, and wanted to do it.  The list is of the 50 best book to film adaptions. [B] means you’ve read the book and [M] means you’ve seen the movie.

1. [B] 1984
2. [BM] Alice in Wonderland
3. [M] American Psycho
4. [M] Breakfast at Tiffany’s
5. Brighton Rock
6. [B]Catch 22
7. [M] Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
8. [M] A Clockwork Orange
9.  Close Range (inc Brokeback Mountain)
10. The Day of the Triffids
11. Devil in a Blue Dress
12. [M] Different Seasons (inc The Shawshank Redemption)
13. [M] Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (aka Bladerunner)
14. Doctor Zhivago
15. Empire of the Sun
16. [M] The English Patient
17. [M] Fight Club
18. The French Lieutenant’s Woman
19. [M] Get Shorty
20. [M] The Godfather
21. [M] Goldfinger
22. [M] Goodfellas
23. [M] Heart of Darkness (aka Apocalypse Now)
24. The Hound of the Baskervilles
25. [M] Jaws
26. [M] The Jungle Book
27. A Kestrel for a Knave (aka Kes)
28. [M] LA Confidential
29. [M] Les Liaisons Dangereuses
30. [M] Lolita
31. [M] Lord of the Flies
32. [M] The Maltese Falcon
33. [M] Oliver Twist
34. [B] One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
35. Orlando
36. [M] The Outsiders
37. Pride and Prejudice
38. The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
39. The Railway Children
40. Rebecca
41. The Remains of the Day
42. [M] Schindler’s Ark (aka Schindler’s List)
43. [BM] Sin City
44. The Spy Who Came in From the Cold
45. [M] The Talented Mr Ripley
46. Tess of the D’Urbervilles
47. Through a Glass Darkly
48. [BM] To Kill a Mockingbird
49. [M] Trainspotting
50. [M] The Vanishing
51. [BM] Watership Down

That was fun.  I feel like I need to read more books now, though.

Categories
dance personal

A little night music

On a daily basis I question the wisdom of having so many sites to update / projects to work on that I end up neither updating nor working. I’ve been fairly consistent with one, the webcomic. It’s not up today on time because Theo got a ‘Disk Boot Failure’ error that prevented drawing last night and somehow fixed itself by this morning. It’s an unintentional cliffhanger, and not a spot I would choose to keep our audience hanging on purpose.

Other than La Casa, I’ve been glorious at not updating exlibrius, the livejournal, or starting any of the new projects I want to work on. What the heck? Well, I’ll work on it. But enough of that.

I got to attend a conference in Tacoma on Wednesday about using online services to promote libraries. Services like blogs, wikis, IMs, and even Flickr. It was really, really cool, and really inspiring. When I got back, my boss asked me to take one of the things they talked about that would have a practical implementation in our school and get it going before I leave. Starting a blog for the library, and getting people to post to it, would be fun, but perhaps not entirely practical. Right now, I’m leaning towards syndicating an RSS feed of our new materials, by subject, to the department websites. The only issue with that being that I really don’t think anyone ever goes to look at the department websites, so it might not actually be the most practical project. Making an internal reference wiki would be fun, or a schoolwide policy/documentation wiki, and both could be very practical. I have to do a write-up of the conference yet, and hopefully when I’m done I’ll have some more solid ideas to work with.

On the dance front, I’ve been taking some classes in Tacoma on Wednesdays that have been kicking my ass (in a good way). Last month was mostly moves, and it was fun and I learned things, but it didn’t kick my ass. This month is called “The Art of Lindy”, and it focuses on musicality and fundamentals (advanced fundamentals – is that oxymoronic?). I spent twenty minutes learning how to shift my weight from one side to the other, and even after practicing for a couple weeks I’m still only starting to get it right. That sounds weird, and I feel like it should be easy, but somehow it’s not.

One of the coolest parts about taking these classes the last couple months is how much it has helped my teaching. I’m thinking about Lindy a lot more technically than I used to, and I’m beginning to understand a lot more of the physical dynamic involved, which has been really interesting. Some people become total lindy-heads, which I can understand, but I don’t think I’ll ever get to that point. One girl I was talking to this last week says that she makes a direct corrolation between good dancing and good sex. I blushed. It makes sense, in a way, but for me dancing isn’t inherently a sexual experience. It certainly CAN be, but that needn’t mean that it always is.

Blog catch-up may be lame, but it’s better than no new content at all. I’ll make an effort to keep this, and all my other projects, updated more often. Ciao for now.

Categories
personal

High School Meme

Who was your best friend?
Prairie, Cree and Benj Ross, Gypsy O’neill (though Gypsy never went to CHS), Kas Clark, Ryan Picavet, Amber and Nick Howell, Sara Abe.

What sports did you play?
I played baseball up UNTIL high school.  After that, have to go with Prairie.  Theater sports are the bomb!

What kind of car did you drive?
My beautiful, sky-blue 1984 VW Rabbit.  I remember I let Sara and Amanda borrow it one day during lunch (what the heck was I thinking!?), and they swore that the car didn’t have a reverse.  I drove Ryan’s maverick once, and slid into a ditch.  That was hella fun.

It’s Friday night, where were you at?
I did Cafe al Mundo a few times.  Otherwise, I was usually off running around, playing in the park, or cold chillin’ with my friends.  Or at play rehearsals.  Not much partying for me, back in the day.

Were you a party animal?
If I was, I think I was a party aardvark.

Were you in the “In Crowd”?
I got along well with everyone, I think.  I did run for ASB prez one time, with Kas, but we didn’t win.

Ever skip school?
I skipped PE a lot to go eat McDonald’s and play in the park.  It was right after lunch, so it was the perfect class to skip!  Junior year Kas and I skipped our running start English 101 class to … eat McDonald’s and play in the park.  Sometimes we’d eat McDonald’s and drive around, but more often than not, it was the park.

Ever smoke?
Yep.

Were you a nerd?
Were?  Am!  Wait … “Am you a nerd?”  Stupid grammar.

Did you get suspended/expelled?
No, somehow all of my teacher’s liked me.

Can you sing the Alma Mater?
Dude, I didn’t even know that we HAD an alma mater.

Who was your favorite teacher?
Mr. Holland was awesome.  I liked Mr. Fine a lot, for some reason (he called me Mr. Ferrari with an appropriate amount of ironic inflection), and Mr. Christian.

Favorite class?
English and drama.  And math.

What was your school’s full name?
Colville High School

School mascot?
Indian.  Because of the “Colville Indian Reservation” being right there, I suppose, but we really had very few native american’s in our school.

Did you go to Prom?
I went to prom my junior year and it was one of the lamest things I have ever done.  Ever.  That night sucked in every conceivable way, not the least of which someone who I didn’t even know, and who was younger than me, informing me that I was going to be a complete failure in life.

If you could go back and do it over, would you?
I dropped out a little over halfway through.  Do you actually think I would go back and do it again?  Well … maybe, but only if I got to bring a laser gun.

What do you remember most about graduation?
That I didn’t graduate.  The GED was hella easy, though.  I remember that, and that I completed it in about 1/3rd the time they say it’s supposed to take.  I think they’ve made it harder since then, though.

Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
Technically, I didn’t have one.  Moving to Port Townsend and working that year was an awesome experience in general, though.

Did you have a job your senior year?
See above.  I worked as a busser/host at the Silverwater Cafe in Port Townsend.

Who did you date?
In order?  Prairie (kinda, we never did kiss; I was way too shy), Jamie, Sara, Brooke, Amber, Heather (crazy Cheney girl!).  Good times.  (Mostly) Good memories.

Where did you go most often for lunch?
McDonald’s.  Yuck!

Have you gained weight since then?
My body type hasn’t really changed much (still average/slightly chubby), but yeah, I’ve gained about 20 lb.

What did you do after graduation?
What haven’t I done!?  Okay, well lot’s of stuff, but hey, there’s time!  If I were to mention three things: graduated from Evergreen, moved to Ohio (and back), started working in libraries.

Categories
personal school

Dear Government, Please Give Me Money.

Egads!

I’ve spent four hours already today trying to work out student loan applications. It’s a process that’s involved three seperate phone calls and one call-back left on my voicemail, about six websites (with three open at any one time for referencing purposes), four different login (and registration) processes, and a lot of (probably annoying) finger tapping while I was on hold. Good thing it’s spring break this week and the library is quiet.

In any case, I have successfully (I think) navigated the maze of applying for a student loan. Been awhile since I’ve done that, and it’s a lot tougher applying to a school in another country. The really annoying part is that I can’t get my student visa until I can prove financial means to pay for school, and they’re in no hurry at all to tell me how much they’re going to give me. This will result in frayed nerves for the Ahniwa, I’m afraid.

I’m anxious about it as it is (though super excited), which probably accounts for my dream last night. I was supposed to catch a plane to Paris, but it was the day of my flight and I didn’t have a ride to the airport. Around 6:40pm (in my dream), someone said to me, “Wasn’t your flight supposed to take off at 6:00?”. Somehow, I figured if I could just make it to the airport, it wouldn’t matter if I was late, but I never did get there before I woke up. I had another weird airport dream pretty recently. Not exactly sure what’s up with that.

Cross your fingers for me. I’m more than happy to owe another $40k in loans if I get to live in Montreal for two years and get my masters degree. Especially now that so much has been leading up to it.

Categories
personal

Feeling much better today.

I worked out what was aggravating me so much the other day, for the most part. The fear can be a sneaky ass ninja, but I’ve got rockets. All this revolution makes my stomach floppy.

Boo. Yeay? Honestly, I’m not sure.

But at least I’ve got energy again. 🙂

Stupid feelings.

Categories
music personal poetic

“Well, he’s no Clark Gable.”

Two men whisper on the back roads,
shoulders hunched;
their collars are up around their necks
and their dogs drawn in on a short leash.
In the frigid dawn their breath
draws clouds against the gray horizon.

Their eyes scan the trees,
above the hills,
and they are wary.
Their dogs are restless
and completely silent.

—-

Did you ever hear that Postal Service song? How did it go? Right.

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd
I know you’re wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?

When I think of “the fear”, I think of this and I think of “fear and loathing in las vegas”, not the title but a line from the movie, damned if I can remember it.

When I think of the fear. No, when I get the fear, like I can feel creeping up sometimes still, like today, my eyes feel too far back in my head. My pant legs feel too short and my shoes ridiculous. All these things that I want to do, but none of them energize me. The thought of these actions inexplicibly turns from exciting to draining, and I’d just like to lay down and sleep for a long, long time.

I make poor decisions when I get the fear. I quit dancing. I stay in more often than not. I start to judge the world, and worse, myself, with a scale that nothing can stand up to.

Indécise – Coralie Clément

Peut-être oui, peut-être non
Ca m’est égal de toute façon
À gauche, à droite, ça, je n’sais pas
De haut en bas, oui, pourquoi pas
Un jour où l’autre, on verra bien.
Toujours remettre au lendemain
Ce que je peux faire ce matin
Je ne sais pas me prendre en main…

Sometimes I know where the fear comes from, and why it comes, and what it wants. Sometimes it’s so simple.

Today, the fear is a fucking ninja. It’s sneaky and black and pointy, but I’ve seen its traces. Fuck you, the fear. Come back some other day.

Today. Today I don’t want you.

Categories
dance love personal poetic

The weekend could be summarized in one haiku.

Even two days later,
my bed still smells like beauty.
My couch smells like me.

Aside from the fact that I shouldn’t be “getting with” anyone right now, what all with leaving the city, state, and country in about five months, there are certain people that I REALLY should not be getting with, for other very valid reasons.

Of course, those are exactly the people that I am insanely attracted to. Grrrrr. 

So Friday night my friend Amy and I drove down to Portland to go to the Portland Lindy Exchange. First off, the Crystal Ballroom is mad cool. The floor is air-cushioned, which offers the effect something like that of dancing on a very firm trampoline. On the faster songs it was fun sometimes to stand back and watch the floor ripple. Aside from the visual effect, it was a dream to dance on, considering how much give the floor offers, and thus takes off your joints. I danced with people from New England, Chicago, and a flurry of other places. Had I known that there was an after-dance (from midnight to 6am) I might have geared up the energy to go, but as it was I was tired, and we left Portland around midnight:thirty.

Amy and I wandered around Olympia pretty much all day on Saturday, which was really nice. We had breakfast at Darby’s and later went to Chopsticks for Bubble Tea and green tea icecream. Seperately, good. Together, entirely too much sweet. It seemed like EVERYWHERE we went, every store and shop and restaurant was playing swing music. It was the soundtrack for our day, and all I wanted to do was dance. It’s hard to get a shy girl to dance with you in an antique store, though, where things might be broken.

Saturday evening I dropped Amy off at her house on the way to Seattle, and arrived at a party around 10:30 in the p.m. for some jiggy conversational action. The girl throwing the party is a friend of my sister’s, and used to be my babysitter. She’s a Cornish grad, so she knows all sorts of interesting artists and dancers and such types, which made for a fun crowd. Her downstairs neighbors are a band, so they came up and played, and there were a few dance performances at points that were fun to watch. We left after a couple hours and I crashed at my sister’s place.

Sunday we went to breakfast at Mae’s and then went ice skating. It’s the second time in my life I’ve ever been ice skating, and though it was hella fun, I think I prefer roller-skating, honestly. Plus, I had to pay constant attention to not run over little kids. Which is true when rollerskating as well, but seems more dangerous when you have sharp metal objects attached to your locomotive shanks. I guess, for the kid, it would be the difference between a crushing death or a slashing/stabby death. Hmmmmm…

Later, we went and watched “Night Watch” at the Neptune Theater in the U. District. I liked it a lot, and I’m interested now to see how the rest of the trilogy plays out. It’s nice to see good films coming out of Russia, and it was fun to listen to Russian. As a Russian film MADE to be seen by an American audience, they got to plan the subtitles out ahead of time (rather than just tack them on as an afterthought), and therefore had some really neat subtitle effects that I’ve never seen used before. Some characters practically gathered their energy and shouted the subtitle at the other character, in a very illustrative fashion (giant subtitle lashing across the screen), while some dripped, and some glowed, and while most were white, some were red or orange. In a word, it was neat to see subtitles included as an actual part of the artistic process.

I got home around midnight on Sunday, and went straight to work Monday morning. My bed smells like dangerous dreams, and I’m constantly torn between throwing myself into them or holding them at arm’s length. It’s all completely ridiculous.

Just like anything worthwhile.

.

Categories
dance internet personal webcomics

OCD, minus C

I can be compulsive, but usually not in a manic fashion. Obsessive? Absolutely. The subjects vary, but the ones that come to mind immediately are:

  • Webcomics.
  • Ideas for websites.
  • Ideas for La Casa.
  • Swing Dancing.
  • Librarianism.
  • Webcomics.

You’ll notice that, sadly, blogging is not on that list. I’d love to be obsessed with blogging, but I’m not sure if it will happen in this current format. My idea, currently (and this does fall into the “Ideas for websites” obsession), is to create a seperate space for purely personal, day-to-day things (probably on livejournal, which seems to cater to the format), and another space for something more of a professional (meaning, subject-oriented) blog. I have some fun ideas for what I’d like to write about, mostly technology, information science, design, librarianism, and webcomics. It would be a fun cross-spectrum for fun people, I think.

I have two other ideas for what I think would be good websites. The nice part is that once set-up they would, for the most part, run themselves. The not-so-nice part is that I really have no clue how to set them up. The ideas and the execution, I think, would be fairly simple. Unfortunately, fairly simple is generally beyond me at the moment when it comes to web design. I’m decent with CSS and for the most part I “understand” things. Understanding does not a good web designer make. Not by itself, in any case. The point? The point is, if you’re good with web design, and might be interested in collaborating with me to get this stuff going, I’m happy to pitch my ideas to you. Understand, they’re not “exciting”. I don’t have the next MySpace lurking in my brain. They’re simple, but I think they’ll work.

Tonight I’m going dancing in Portland. Tomorrow night, to a party in Seattle. Sunday night I may go dancing in Seattle. Monday night, more dancing. Tuesday and Wednesday: dancing. Thursday? Thursdays I crawl into a hole and sleep, or sometimes I go play poker and drink beer. And I wonder why time seems to slip by so quickly … oh wait, no I don’t. The answer is dancing.

Dancing and webcomics. The two best answers out there.

Categories
love personal poetic

When haiku have kids.

I don’t know what the plural of “haiku” is, but I refuse to say “haikus”. I imagine, like geese, it could be “heeku”, or perhaps “haaku” or “hiiku” (but absolutely not “hooku”, which is obviously the plural for “hookah”). However, I’m going to go with the “moose” methodology instead, which remains “moose”, and which stands as a testiment, when combined with “goose” and its plural, that the English language really doesn’t put forth a whole lot of effort towards being consistent. And that’s exactly why I love it.

In any case, here are two haiku that I wrote. Afterwards, I decided I didn’t like them in haiku form (it was actually their choice and not mine), so from their loins sprung (that’s a really ghastly image) the poem underneath. Actually, haiku are hermaphroditic, but will rarely spawn anything but more haiku when left on their own. When two haiku spawn together, you’ll often get a poem. Haiku orgies often result in odes, ballads, sonnets in iambic pentameter, and children’s songs. Don’t look at me. It’s the natural order! Without further ado …

one

it’s not too late yet;
i want conversation past midnight and
to fulfill your smile’s promise.

two

you smile like moonlight.
fingers brush fingers.
your cheek is smudged with stardust.

it’s not too late yet

it’s not too late yet;
minds wrapped around distant angles,
long exposures drawn out and
sometimes so long that I become aware
of nothing but your presence beside me.

it’s not too late yet;
stepping back into the night’s
artificial flicker.
stars make wishes on our cities.
we hazard fingertips brushing,
too hot to be a holy palmer’s kiss.

it’s not too late yet;
as you smile like moonlight,
your cheek is smudged with stardust
and there’s so much time left to go.

it’s not too late yet;
i want conversation past midnight,
and to fulfill your smile’s promise.

Categories
personal socialweb tech

In the end, I couldn’t bear it.

Perhaps I’ll watch that show. After the city has turned its lights off and the pre-midnight rainbow has become a sea of flashing yellow down State street, I’ll huddle quietly and try to dissolve the mystery surrounding musical and television pop culture. Reality TV? Maybe, but you know it can only be real when people don’t know they’re being filmed, and some of these people are really, very obviously, aware of the cameras. I’ll watch it though not on TV and I won’t vote, but part of me is curious about this pervasive pop phenomenon. It’s interesting, but I can’t get past a skeptical detachment (nor do I want to). Some people spend more time communicating with this show, about this show, than they do with their children, their spouses, their books or their dreams.

Once, when we were all in black and white, television seemed so wholesome. It was a reasonable extension from the family sitting around the radio, listening to the Little Orphan Annie show, news radio, or dramatic productions of great (by “great” I mean pulp) mystery stories. Then we had Bewitched, Leave it to Beaver, I Dream of Jeanie, etc etc. The shows were limited and wholesome, the time spent in front of the television set was balanced by time reading, talking about the news, playing chess, checkers, cribbage, bridge, being a family.

[long rant deleted]

Now, huddled in the blackness as my screen flashes lightning and laugh tracks guide me, sometimes I shiver quietly, and wonder how television could have been so subtle in devouring my integrity.

Categories
humor personal poetic

One, please.

an anti v-day haiku.

lip-locked lovers at the movie;
while you made kissy face,
I ate all your popcorn.

Categories
personal poetic

Alone and listening

The first thing
these days
after I get home:
a cup of tea
(mint please).

I set the cup near the plants
to watch the steam caress their leaves.
I think they find it erotic.

I watch the sky redden,
then darken
against the sloping horizon,
and the city becomes
a sea of flickering lights
dancing outside my window.

By now I’ve moved on from tea;
something with a kick,
and while Miles takes five
I close my eyes and lean back.

Sometimes,
alone and listening,
staring out into the black
and the ground littered with stars;
sometimes every night is perfect.

Categories
personal

Keirsey’s Rational Ravenclaws

So I took this Keirsey personality type test, which gave me the same results pretty much every other personality test I’ve ever taken says. And which, according to this Keirsey version of the sorting hat, makes me a Ravenclaw. This, as well, is nothing new.

The test describes me thusly:

Rationals, are the problem solving temperament, particularly if the problem has to do with the many complex systems that make up the world around us. Rationals might tackle problems in organic systems such as plants and animals, or in mechanical systems such as railroads and computers, or in social systems such as families and companies and governments. But whatever systems fire their curiosity, Rationals will analyze them to understand how they work, so they can figure out how to make them work better.

In working with problems, Rationals try to find solutions that have application in the real world, but they are even more interested in the abstract concepts involved, the fundamental principles or natural laws that underlie the particular case. And they are completely pragmatic about their ways and means of achieving their ends. Rationals don’t care about being politically correct. They are interested in the most efficient solutions possible, and will listen to anyone who has something useful to teach them, while disregarding any authority or customary procedure that wastes time and resources.

Rationals have an insatiable hunger to accomplish their goals and will work tirelessly on any project they have set their mind to. They are rigorously logical and fiercely independent in their thinking–are indeed skeptical of all ideas, even their own–and they believe they can overcome any obstacle with their will power. Often they are seen as cold and distant, but this is really the absorbed concentration they give to whatever problem they’re working on. Whether designing a skyscraper or an experiment, developing a theory or a prototype technology, building an aircraft, a corporation, or a strategic alliance, Rationals value intelligence, in themselves and others, and they pride themselves on the ingenuity they bring to their problem solving.

Rationals are very scarce, comprising as little as 5 to 10 percent of the population. But because of their drive to unlock the secrets of nature, and to develop new technologies, they have done much to shape our world.

This, in turn, seems to match fairly well with my monkey traits, and perhaps my ram traits as well.

I feel like I know myself pretty well, and I know how I feel about these results. I’m curious to hear from those who know me, and those who don’t know me but through my writing here, how well YOU feel these traits fit me. I know other Aries, and other Monkeys, but I don’t know if I know any other Aries Monkey Rational Ravenclaw types, so I don’t have a very good mirror in that respect, and chances are if I met one I’d hate them.

Which leads me to another question. If you met someone exactly like you (a veritable, or perhaps literal, clone), would you enjoy their company?